You know that old adage, play with fire, you get burned? What if the fire is contained and patient? What if you were going to end your relationship anyway and thought this would be a great rebound situation?
I contacted #20, again. That was final step that I am ready to leave #72. For all his faults, #20 has always been there to pick up my pieces. I know that even if he hasn’t seen me in over 2 years, he’ll think I’m hot and want to fuck me. (who wouldn’t?) (oh right, #72). Even with an extra 6 pounds I discovered at the doctor’s office (fuck those calibrated scales), it won’t matter. #20 will think I’m hot.
It’s been two years with #72 and I can no longer be in a sexless relationship. As much as I care about him, I can’t be faithful to him. But I’ve never cheated on anyone before and I don’t intend to now. There will be a discussion that we’ve had many times before.
I’m tired of it and want to move on. He’s PERFECT in every other way, but after two years and cob webs it’s time to get some heavily missed pancakes.
The best way to break up with someone is to say you met someone else. So I texted with #20 tonight. And I got a glass of water splashed in my face, if not the whole pitcher. He was the first person I called after Ex-Husband #1 and then again after Ex-Husband #2. I was always his first call after making a relationship mistake. So even though I’d judged him repeatedly, I realize now, it was unfair. We are no better than the other. All that blame and fire I sent his way was my own drama and tonight I paid for it.
Somehow, he found out about the blog and the book. Was hurt (understandably) and told me to stop being a victim and blame everything on him. Which was also valid. So any hopes of fucking my way out of #72 with him were dashed, as was my mascara. Suddenly I was devastated. I hadn’t felt this kind of hurt since Ex-Husband #2. This is why I’ve stayed with #72, so avoid crying and feeling. To avoid someone really sticking you with a dagger because they’ve been equally hurt by you.
Tonight sucked ass and not even the caller who likes women to fart in his face and call him “a little sinker” cheered me up. Hopefully this double pour of Johnny Walker Black will. And if not, there’s always soma.
Moral of the story, even the best fart jokes can’t always make you laugh.
56 Men and Other Mistakes 